The world continues to turn.

I've been wanting to post for a while but haven't really felt like it.  Honestly I've just been too sad.  I did have two grandpas pass away last year but this is the first loss I've ever experienced where the person was both very close to me, and it was totally unexpected.  It's been very difficult for our family and it has been interesting to see how it has affected different areas of our lives.

For me personally, I've become a bit of a space-case!  Which is weird, because I'm normally not a space-case at all.    I've been described as Type-A, but definitely not someone who lets things go.  But now?  I can't seem to get organized.  I have forgotten to pay bills.  I will just stare off into space during the day.  My daily to-do list frequently does not get done.  The house has not been kept up.  Projects are not getting done.  Basically I've been in survival mode.  Don't worry, you won't come over and see a "Hoarders" type situation, or the cupboards bare and the kids running around dirty and disheveled!  But it's given me a new understanding on grief and the different ways it affects people.  I'd like to think I always had compassion for people but my compassion for those who have suffered a loss has definitely increased.

Anyway, we had a busy summer filled with swimming lessons, the boys attended a summer program, we traveled to Utah to visit family and friends, and we even had an awesome friend take some gorgeous family photos!

https://www.facebook.com/Annamillerphotography

Hopefully I can get back into the blogging groove because my boys continue to say funny things and do funny things, etc.   I'd like to catch up on everything but we'll see if that happens!  Life moves on even if your heart feels stuck.  We all do the best we can right?  :)

To every thing there is a season...

Josh and Dad - 2011

 Sometimes you can just be living your life, going through the routine of everything, stressing over the unimportant details.  And then you receive a phone call that is life changing.  Your husband’s father has passed away in a shocking, unexpected way.  Time seems to stop and speed up in that moment.  You know things will never be the same.   You have to tell your husband the news, the most difficult thing you’ve ever had to do.  You don’t know how your family will ever move past it.  You worry for your husband and your entire in-law family who you love like your own.  You are amazed at the amount of tears a person can cry and wonder if you will ever stop.  You wish you had listened to the prompting you had to write your father-in-law an email those last couple of weeks telling him how much you loved and appreciated him, but kept pushing if off thinking you’d do it later because you were too busy.  Then you cry some more.

I spent a lot of time looking at pictures of my sweet father-in-law and remembering his life before we traveled to California for the funeral.  The boys and I remembered fun times.  I'm going to let them pick whatever pictures they like and make them each their own photo albums to keep.  I'm glad I insisted on taking a lot of photos even though he hated having his picture taken!

Papa Big Dog and Samuel - 2007

Papa Big Dog and J.J. - 2011

Papa Big Dog and Trey - 2006

Bruce and JoAnn

There's something healing about attending the funeral of a loved one with all of your family and friends.  I don't think I really understood that until now.  

 

It was kind of like attending a big family reunion with one very important family member missing.  

My amazing MIL and her 8 children - May 9th, 2012

The Larsen Family - May 9th, 2012

Still though, we had some fun times together.  Trey actually celebrated his 7th birthday while we were there, and all of the cousins had a lot of fun together.  

Trey opening presents (yes, that's a Christmas gift bag!)

Larsen grandchildren - May 11th, 2012

We talked, ate, laughed, and wished we all lived closer to one another.  I just love this family.  They are amazing.  I couldn't ask for better in-laws.

I hope I can teach my boys to be the kind of man their "Papa Big Dog" was.  Kind, generous almost to a fault, with a true love of the scriptures and the gospel of Jesus Christ.  He didn't just talk the talk, he truly tried to help other people and never sought recognition for it.  I will truly miss him and I am so grateful for the knowledge that families can be together forever.   For now, I know that he is being taken care of. 

Are you there readers? It's me. Christy.

I haven't blogged in a really long time.  I don't even recognize blogger anymore.  Everything looks different and weird.  It's not that I don't have anything to blog about, I do.  I keep meaning to blog but it just doesn't happen.  Maybe I should do something about that...

Maybe I will.  We'll see.