Happy Halloween!

They may be crazy little animals but they're MY crazy little animals! Good thing they can be so cute, so I still love them when they make me want to rip my hair out.

Parenting Predicaments

Sometimes, I just don't know what to do. Is it okay to admit you just don't know how to be a good parent? I read countless books on different parenting methods. I STILL don't know what to do. Some of the situations they describe in these books are just so unrealistic. All the little anecdotes end with the parent coming up with the perfect thing to say, the perfect consequence that will teach their child to learn how to reason with themselves, and needless to say, it all ends perfectly.

Umm....

How about they write a book that is actually useful? Using REAL LIFE situations? Like for example, this morning my 6 year old comes up to me in the kitchen, and throws his school shoes down on the floor, which are soaking wet.
"Trey threw my shoes in the potty!"
"Was the potty flushed?"
"No!"
Sure enough, I go in there, and it wasn't flushed. And it wasn't just number one, if you know what I mean. And now school starts in an hour, and I have my son's shoes on my kitchen floor, covered in...you know what.

Now what am I supposed to do? I can't throw HIS shoes in the potty, because I paid good money for those shoes! He doesn't care about time-outs, taking toys or privileges away, or any other punishment you can possibly think of, including spanking. (did I just admit that on my blog?) We've tried all the rewards systems you can think of, praise for good behavior, earning treats, blah blah blah.

So if anyone out there would like to write a REAL LIFE parenting book that will teach me how to deal with situations like the one described above, or what to say when your child tells you he hates you, when your children fight with each other 24/7, please be my guest. I could REALLY use the help here.

Thank you.
Signed,
Mother of 3 Boys

Has it been 9 years?

One thing Josh and I always joke about on our anniversary is about how it feels like we've been married longer, but at the same time, we can't believe it's been this long already. Make sense? On the one hand, I can't believe it's been 9 years. Time is flying!! On the other hand...it's ONLY been 9 years? It feels longer.

Here's a funny little story to sum up how I feel about marriage in general:

Many moons ago I was a college sophomore in Provo, UT, attending BYU. One cold winter morning, my roommate and I were awakened by a scraping sound. The sound of ice being scraped off of a windshield in the parking lot behind our apartment building. My roommate and I watched this young married couple out of our 2nd story window for a couple minutes and then I opened our window, yelled "MARRIAGE IS TEAMWORK!!" in a really high pitched voice, and then ducked down really fast and my roommate and I rolled on the floor cracking up. I'm sure this married couple thought we were insane, we both share a weird sense of humor and back then yelling random things out our window was hilarious to us for some reason. Anyway, my point is this: I was right. Marriage is teamwork. You both have your ups and downs and it's your job to boost the other when your partner is down. You work together to pay the bills, run the household, raise the kids, and on and on and on. Who knew I had such wisdom when that when I was an obnoxious 19 year old college student?  

I'll say this much, 9 years later I love him more than I did the day I married him.  Happy Anniversary babe!  (even though you'll never read this)

I miss it.

I have a lot I need to catch up on. Like the wedding I attended last Friday, my baby's birthday last Sunday... But first I have to download more pictures and figure out how to put video clips on here. All things I'm too lazy to do right now. So this will be a short little post about something that has been on my mind A LOT the last week, ever since I attended the out-of-state wedding last week.

I miss Utah. I miss mountains, and having four seasons, old buildings downtown, crappy freeways, and weird people. (not that we don't have that in AZ but this is a whole different kind of weird) I miss leaves changing colors, snow falling, 100 year old houses, green grass, trees everywhere... I just miss it.
Can you believe my son had never seen Fall before? As in, trees where the leaves actually change color? How sad is that? If I could, I'd move back in a second.

Child Proof

Huh, I passed my 100th post and didn't even realize it.  Yippee for me.

Let's talk about child locks.  You know, those REALLY obnoxious plastic contraptions you put on drawers and cupboards that annoy adults to no end, but are an absolute necessity if you're a parent?  Yes, you know what I'm talking about.  Well, sometimes they are not effective.  Especially if you are my 4 year old son, "T".

This is what I came into my kitchen to see after unloading groceries from the minivan:

Can't open the drawer?  No problem!  Just rip the front of the drawer right off.

He ripped that thing out so hard, it even broke a chunk of fake wood off the drawer face.  I guess he REALLY needed a spoon for his applesauce and couldn't wait the 2 minutes for Mommy to get back to the kitchen. 

Ode to Migraines

Here is a subject that is very near, if not dear, to my heart.  MIGRAINES.  I get them.  A lot.  Maybe you don't understand, I get them A LOT.  I'm sure if I kept better track, I could say with confidence that I have a migraine at least 1/3 of the year.  And that's underestimating.  

Let me try to explain the pain of a migraine.  Imagine feeling like your head is actually going to explode.  Of spending hours literally laying on your bathroom floor in the dark, alternating between puking and passing out.  It hurts to lay down, it hurts to sit, the light feels like it's stabbing your brain, any noise vibrates painfully in your head.  You literally feel like you want to die.  It's not that you're suicidal, you just want the pain to STOP and you don't care how.  You wonder how many more hours you can take of it, you keep taking medicine hoping it will work but it doesn't.  

Beyond the physical pain though, is the guilt.  "Oh great...Mom has another migraine."  This is what I imagine my kids are thinking.  They're too young to verbalize it right now but I'm sure they've started thinking it.  

"We were supposed to go to the library today...but Mom has a migraine.  Again." 

"Yay, today we get to go swimming!  Oh no...Mom has another migraine."

"Mommy, come read a book to me!  Nevermind..."

The guilt and frustration I feel are indescribable.  I hate living like this.  Every day I live in fear that I will either wake up with a migraine, or I will develop one at some point in the day.  Most of the time I don't even tell my husband when I get one anymore.  He never says anything mean about it but still, if the roles were reversed, I'd be annoyed.  It's hard to understand how it feels if you've never had one yourself.  Most of the time he guesses though, I have what he calls, my "migraine smile".  Which is basically a fake smile that I plaster on to pretend everything is okay.

I'm sure many people may be wondering how I manage to live my life?  Raise 3 children with the doctor/dentist appointments, soccer games, school carpools, etc.?  Work a part-time paying job?  Teach piano lessons?  Volunteer in my church?  Not to mention the daily cooking and cleaning involved in running a household?  

I will tell you.  It's called, RELPAX.  My own personal miracle drug.  For the record, I hate relying on any medication.  But migraines are a whole different story.  I have a life to live and children I don't want to disappoint.  So I fight with my insurance company for the maximum allowable number of pills, I mark it on my calendar the soonest I'm able to refill it, I pay my  co-pay, and I try not to think about how every pill is costing me about $2.50 (and the insurance company a lot more).  Instead I try to focus on the fact that by popping Replax and/or Excedrin Migraine almost daily, I can do what I need to do.  And on those days that neither medication works?  Well, you can find me on the bathroom floor...

(**I know people will suggest other treatments, which I am always open to of course.  But just so it's out there, I've tried going to neurologists, chiropractors, an acupuncturist, not to mention a long list of medications to prevent and treat.)

The big SIX

Yup, "B" is officially 6 years old.  I'm way overdue in writing this post but, here it is, badly decorated cake and all.  We got him a bike, his first bike.  I guess I'm a little slow since everyone else his age already knows how to ride one already...but better late than never right?  Also please excuse my pathetic attempt at cake decorating.  Someday when I have tons of time and tons of patience (haha), I will take a cake decorating class and I will make amazing cakes.  For now, they look horrible but they taste good and that's all that matters right?  Plus he seems pretty thrilled about it regardless.  Just slap a Spongebob and Patrick on anything and my boys will love it, guaranteed.

"J" and I also went down to the school and had lunch with "B" on his special day.  We brought him Wendy's.  It feels so weird to sit in an elementary school cafeteria and eat lunch.  I remember it like it was yesterday but it also seems like a lifetime ago.  Anyway, he was very happy we came and was hugging us and holding our hands the whole time.  I am sad to think that someday he will be embarrassed to show affection to his mom and dad in public!  For now I'll just enjoy it while it lasts.